Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
