no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
