I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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