That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
