my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
