we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
