No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
