talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize