so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
