I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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