It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
