pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
