Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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