i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
