Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
