Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
