I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
