My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
