with your own penis?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
