from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
