eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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