I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
