Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
