I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize