we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
