i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
