one two three fourrrrnication!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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