Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize