Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize