just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize