I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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