Can Purell be used as lube?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
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I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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