True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
