she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
