Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
