She's JV to your varsity
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
