went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
a search helicopter?!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
