forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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