Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
