when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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