handjob tips. give me some.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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