HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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