My cat gives me a boner
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
