Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
