I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
