he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
