I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
