He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
