Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Couch. On fire.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
