he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Princesses don't give blow jobs
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
