I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
