There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
