By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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