shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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