I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize