They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
