pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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