batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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