Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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