Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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