I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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