I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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