STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sorry my hands just texted you
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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