i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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