i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
