Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize