I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize