Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
